yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
