he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
