btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
