Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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