it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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