I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
