i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
