it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
