Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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