Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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