God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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