Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
