So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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