Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
