My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm always down for nudity.
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