i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
