if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
