if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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