She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
