god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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