we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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