I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
