At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
