I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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