He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
