Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize