um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
