they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
