i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This baby is an asshole
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
