so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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