just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
