Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
