Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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