The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
