HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
