I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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