they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
