I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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