try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
