try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
