I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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