Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
