Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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