is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
