I can tuck mytits in my pants
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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