drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
