I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
