During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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