sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
