my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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