I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
