he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize