Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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