I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
