My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
