My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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