Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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